Her assets totaled $20 million, including the value of the family business, four homes, life insurance coverage, financial partnerships, and other assets. With her fortunate circumstances, she was generous to her children, based on her loving belief that "What's mine is (or will be) yours." Everybody was sure her finances were more than ample to secure her and her family's future.
We launched into a deep analysis of the matriarch's finances. We also listened carefully to the family's values and intentions, matching them to what we were discovering about her wealth. After all, behind the emotional ideal of generosity must stand a strong dose of practicality. We were respectful of the fact that, in family relationships, being practical can sometimes require discussing tough issues and understanding that everyone's security needs to be part of the mix. We uncovered that Mom had more debt than she or the family realized and expenses on her four homes were draining her cash flow. As a result, her frequent large gifting to her children was actually too generous to be supportable over the long run. It was a shock to the family that Mom would run out of money for herself at age 75.
Decisive steps had to be taken. As is often our model, our first step was to begin hosting a series of family meetings so the siblings could talk as a group and share hard decisions on behalf of their mother and themselves. Our job was to listen sensitively yet facilitate some very tough conversations about priorities. The outcome was a living testament to their values of responsibility and mutual support. With their blessing, we restructured the mother's life insurance for double the coverage without any premium increase. We also restructured a $10 million line of bank credit at the peak of the financial crisis, which gave the children more flexibility in expanding the family business to grow everyone's assets. A protocol was created for selling two of the four houses and gifting the third to the children through a common but intricate estate planning procedure. One of the family's limited partnerships was sold, freeing up cash. And with our help, the siblings set rules for themselves about how to access their mother's funds when there was a specific need. Even better, they decided to set up a family foundation for charitable giving to others who were less fortunate than themselves.
Bottom line: The tangible problem behind the appearance of "plenty" was a drastic need for cash flow planning for Mom while still helping her grown children. The delicate issue was the need for the family to work together, make difficult decisions, and set a new path with balanced priorities. We did this by talking, listening, and helping – with the family's values always at the forefront.
Her assets totaled $20 million, including the value of the family business, four homes, life insurance coverage, financial partnerships, and other assets. With her fortunate circumstances, she was generous to her children, based on her loving belief that "What's mine is (or will be) yours." Everybody was sure her finances were more than ample to secure her and her family's future.
We launched into a deep analysis of the matriarch's finances. We also listened carefully to the family's values and intentions, matching them to what we were discovering about her wealth. After all, behind the emotional ideal of generosity must stand a strong dose of practicality. We were respectful of the fact that, in family relationships, being practical can sometimes require discussing tough issues and understanding that everyone's security needs to be part of the mix. We uncovered that Mom had more debt than she or the family realized and expenses on her four homes were draining her cash flow. As a result, her frequent large gifting to her children was actually too generous to be supportable over the long run. It was a shock to the family that Mom would run out of money for herself at age 75.
Decisive steps had to be taken. As is often our model, our first step was to begin hosting a series of family meetings so the siblings could talk as a group and share hard decisions on behalf of their mother and themselves. Our job was to listen sensitively yet facilitate some very tough conversations about priorities. The outcome was a living testament to their values of responsibility and mutual support. With their blessing, we restructured the mother's life insurance for double the coverage without any premium increase. We also restructured a $10 million line of bank credit at the peak of the financial crisis, which gave the children more flexibility in expanding the family business to grow everyone's assets. A protocol was created for selling two of the four houses and gifting the third to the children through a common but intricate estate planning procedure. One of the family's limited partnerships was sold, freeing up cash. And with our help, the siblings set rules for themselves about how to access their mother's funds when there was a specific need. Even better, they decided to set up a family foundation for charitable giving to others who were less fortunate than themselves.
Bottom line: The tangible problem behind the appearance of "plenty" was a drastic need for cash flow planning for Mom while still helping her grown children. The delicate issue was the need for the family to work together, make difficult decisions, and set a new path with balanced priorities. We did this by talking, listening, and helping – with the family's values always at the forefront.
Her assets totaled $20 million, including the value of the family business, four homes, life insurance coverage, financial partnerships, and other assets. With her fortunate circumstances, she was generous to her children, based on her loving belief that "What's mine is (or will be) yours." Everybody was sure her finances were more than ample to secure her and her family's future.
We launched into a deep analysis of the matriarch's finances. We also listened carefully to the family's values and intentions, matching them to what we were discovering about her wealth. After all, behind the emotional ideal of generosity must stand a strong dose of practicality. We were respectful of the fact that, in family relationships, being practical can sometimes require discussing tough issues and understanding that everyone's security needs to be part of the mix. We uncovered that Mom had more debt than she or the family realized and expenses on her four homes were draining her cash flow. As a result, her frequent large gifting to her children was actually too generous to be supportable over the long run. It was a shock to the family that Mom would run out of money for herself at age 75.
Decisive steps had to be taken. As is often our model, our first step was to begin hosting a series of family meetings so the siblings could talk as a group and share hard decisions on behalf of their mother and themselves. Our job was to listen sensitively yet facilitate some very tough conversations about priorities. The outcome was a living testament to their values of responsibility and mutual support. With their blessing, we restructured the mother's life insurance for double the coverage without any premium increase. We also restructured a $10 million line of bank credit at the peak of the financial crisis, which gave the children more flexibility in expanding the family business to grow everyone's assets. A protocol was created for selling two of the four houses and gifting the third to the children through a common but intricate estate planning procedure. One of the family's limited partnerships was sold, freeing up cash. And with our help, the siblings set rules for themselves about how to access their mother's funds when there was a specific need. Even better, they decided to set up a family foundation for charitable giving to others who were less fortunate than themselves.
Bottom line: The tangible problem behind the appearance of "plenty" was a drastic need for cash flow planning for Mom while still helping her grown children. The delicate issue was the need for the family to work together, make difficult decisions, and set a new path with balanced priorities. We did this by talking, listening, and helping – with the family's values always at the forefront.